Somewhere to Begin
by autumnsbliss
Summary: [Set between S8 & S9] Carol's plans to move back to Alexandria following the end of the war with the Saviors are stalled when she considers what – or who – she will be leaving behind.


It felt like it had been quite some time since the dead had been the biggest threat to their way of life.

In a way, it had been.

During the war, everyone had been constantly looking over their shoulder. Constantly on high alert. It wasn't, however, in fear that they would turn to be face to face with a ravenous creature of the undead as it had been since the end of the world as they'd once known it. Instead, it was the fear of coming face to face with the barrel of a gun held by someone who had no qualms with kneeling to..._dying_ _for_...their leader.

Once the fight was over, things turned around once again. The Saviors were supposed to be allies now...a concept with which Carol found herself having some difficulty wrapping her mind around. Despite Rick's efforts to explain, she couldn't forget all the people - friends...family...strangers - who had been lost at the hands of those who followed Negan. But Rick wanted peace. _Carl_ had wanted peace.

The dead, who had become almost nothing more than background noise for such a long stretch of time, were the common enemy once again, and, admittedly, after fighting such a brutal war, they felt like more of a pest than a genuine threat. So like pests was how they were treated...at least at the Kingdom.

It was a particularly hot summer afternoon when Carol accompanied the King on his outing to take care of some of the walkers who had found themselves wandering too close to the outskirts of his community. It had become a routine of sorts, and as much as she would never dare to admit it aloud, she almost found herself looking forward to it when the time would come around. The normally theatrical King was much more tolerable when they were not in mixed company, after all

"It's been almost three weeks since you said you'd be taking your leave back to Alexandria."

Carol processed the statement while simultaneously driving the blade of her knife through the mostly decomposed skull of a walker who'd found itself tangled into the branches of a small tree. She wasn't entirely sure what Ezekiel was getting at by pointing that out. Or maybe she was and was simply choosing to remain in blissful ignorance.

The Kingdom had, admittedly, become home. Of course she still considered her family back in Alexandria to be exactly that, but she had grown comfortably stable in her new community. It had all begun to grow on her the longer she'd taken up residence there. In fact, she'd grown quite fond of it all. The people...the "fairytale"...even the King himself.

In regards to the King, she and Ezekiel had been in an odd stage of 'almost' since the end of the war. They would grab each other's hands for comfort if and when they would breach a particularly sensitive topic, but only for a brief moment before seeming to remember that their relationship was platonic. They had even almost kissed one night after a few too many celebratory post-war drinks...when it was just the two of them out in the royal garden under the stars. She could feel his breath ghost against her lips before she subtly pulled away and reminded him of how late it had gotten.

It, fortunately, hadn't strained the unlikely bond they had managed to form during her time as a member of the Kingdom, but she knew it was playing a role in why she had suddenly become almost reluctant to leave.

After pulling her knife from the corpse of the now silent walker, Carol wiped a spatter of blood from her cheek with the sleeve of her shirt, not turning to look at him when she finally responded.

"Well someone's gotta be here to help you play exterminator," she said. The groan of a walker could only be heard briefly before it was cut short by the sound of Ezekiel's blade striking its flesh. "Otherwise you'd come out here alone and get yourself killed."

"Have you so little faith in me, Lady Carol?"

When she looked away from the walker who had crumpled to the ground in front of her and over to the source of the familiar voice he was wearing the same unmistakably playful smile she had come to expect from him. One that, despite trying, never failed to make her crack a smile of her own in return.

"Just keeping an eye out, Your Majesty," she said in response. When the sound of yet another walker could be heard from some distance away, Carol pulled her handgun from its place on her hip. "Duck."

The pop of the gun pierced the quiet space around them as her bullet whizzed easily over Ezekiel's head and through the skull of the shambling figure behind him. When he stood back up straight, he could only smile in response.

Carol never bothered to elaborate further on the issue of her stalling her return to Alexandria, and the King never bothered to ask more questions. If he knew anything about her by that point, it was that she would open up when she was ready. In regards to her lingering around the Kingdom, he had a strong suspicion that he knew the reason behind it, but dared not bring it up in fear of it pushing her away.

The frequency of their encounters with the dead became few and far between the more they surveyed the immediate area around the Kingdom, and when the sun began to dip behind the trees, they both concluded that it was time to call it in for the night. They walked most of the way back towards the gates in a comfortable silence before Ezekiel's voice shifted the focus from the winding trails of trees in front of them.

"Rick's requested we send more supplies to the Sanctuary," he said.

"And judging by your tone I'm assuming you're not feeling too generous."

The sound of his sigh let her know she couldn't have been far off.

"I'm glad the war is over, and I'm willing to set hostilities aside. But all of my people who were lost..." he paused, and when she glanced over to him, she could see the familiar faraway look in his eyes. "Benjamin..."

Carol stopped walking, and the abrupt motion brought him to a halt as well. When she looked at him, she turned her whole body to face his, and she reached out to grab his hand almost instinctively.

This time, however, she didn't drop his hand from hers once she realized what she was doing. She didn't shy away or set up an excuse as to why they should put some more distance between them. This time, their fingers laced together, and she offered a gentle squeeze.

"I know what you're thinking, and it isn't selfish," she assured him. "Rick...he's just doing what he thinks is best. What Carl would have wanted." She paused again, allowing their gazes to meet. "When I go back to Alexandria I can just...tell him the Kingdom doesn't have any extra supplies to spare right now."

"Carol-"

"No...Ezekiel...don't say anything..." she shrugged off the incoming sappiness before he could even begin. "You took me into your community and let me completely overstay my welcome. I'd just be returning the favor."

They looked at each other for another long moment before he finally let go of her hand with nothing more than a small nod of acknowledgement.

"I thank you for the offer, but it won't be necessary," he assured her. "As for overstaying your welcome, you know you haven't done so in any capacity. In fact, I know the people of the Kingdom would be honored if you were to call our community your permanent home."

The statement sounded as if it should have been one of little substance. A stereotypically King Ezekiel formality. She had a feeling she knew that he wanted her to stay anyway, but hearing it confirmed aloud for the first time since she'd told him she would be leaving after the war was an almost comforting confirmation. Even if he was clearly hiding his own wishes behind those of his people.

"The people of the Kingdom, huh?" She asked, her lips quirking into an amused smile.

"As well as the King himself."

"Well if my presence is being requested by_ royalty_ then I might just have to consider staying."

The words were playful, but there was a hidden sense of honesty behind them that hadn't been lost on the King. Carol could see the playful glimmer flicker from behind his eyes, and he didn't need to question her seriousness in the matter verbally before she clarified.

"It's been so long since Alexandria that I'm not even sure it's home anymore," she finally admitted what she had been so adamantly avoiding mentioning since she began to question her decision to leave the Kingdom behind. She took a subconscious step closer to him, hardly processing that they were now merely inches apart. "And maybe there might be a few things I'd miss about this place."

"Is that so, Lady Carol?" He asked, his voice lower than it had been when he last spoke. "Would you care to elaborate?"

It was unclear who actually initiated it when their lips finally - after seemingly so long - met in a soft yet heated kiss. One that they had both been seeking out for some time, but that neither dared to act on until that one moment of sudden sincerity.

The way his hands moved to cradle either side of her face, and the way his lips brushed against hers with such a gentle urgency had Carol questioning why they had both danced around these obvious feelings for so long. Ezekiel kissed her like she was sure she had never been kissed before. In a way that made her pulse race just slightly beneath her skin, and her legs feel almost unsteady beneath the weight of her body.

The circumstances - out in an indiscernible part of the woods near the Kingdom...spatters of blood across their clothes from their previous encounters with the dead - may not have been as romantic as the royal gardens under the stars...but at that point the circumstances were irrelevant. The fact of the matter was that they had finally breached the previously untouchable topic, and... in a way ... it was much less vulnerable than she'd originally imagined it would be.

They only parted when the need to breathe caught up to them both, and Ezekiel's forehead pressed gently into hers as their fingers found one another's and tangled together once again. When he leaned down to offer up another peck on the lips, she easily accepted - as if kissing him was nothing more than second nature now - and her lips turned up into a small smile under his.

"Perhaps that was enough to persuade you," he teased.

Carol couldn't help but laugh softly in response. If persuasion was his goal, she had a feeling he'd realized that he had certainly achieved it.

"I don't know," she mused, looking up at him with a playful glint in her gaze. "I might need a little more convincing."

She'd half expected him to say something poetically sappy - something that would make her scoff and groan at his theatrics despite taking a secretive comfort in the lightness of his words- in response. But instead he simply leaned down to capture her lips with his own once again, and for the first time she could recall, she allowed everything around her to become nothing more than an afterthought as she faded into him completely.

* * *

_A/N: So I'm thinking of starting a little series of fill-in Carzekiel fics for during the time jumps...so let me know if you'd be interested :)_


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